Bitch on the Blog

March 3, 2017


Filed under: Amusement,Communication,Dizzy,Exasperation,Fun,manners — bitchontheblog @ 16:59
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In the wake of my last post, and your assorted favoured instruments doing what instruments do (who’ll provide the crescendo?) I will throw my own screech into the ring. Namely the chatterbox.

Don’t dismiss the chatterbox and come to me with bland spoutings of silence is golden” (though it is, and one of the reasons I rarely listen to music when working, instead spending most my life enveloped in relative silence). What’s the other one put forward by those who have little to say, yet trying to justify being a little vacant? “I am a good listener”. Really? How about being a good conversationalist? You know, like ping pong, a game of (table) tennis? Back, forth, back, forth … Then, naturally, and it’s a pet hate of mine, and was amply targeted at me by a woman of questionable integrity and even less brain matter and now having run out of steam: “The empty kettle makes the loudest noise.” What eludes the poor sausage that repeating the same saying again and again doesn’t make her (or the saying) any more interesting or true. She’d have been better advised to fill her own kettle. At least, at boiling point, she’d have made a hissing sound instead of just running dry.

Yes, so, once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox. It’s a gift. Trust me. I have drawn people out of themselves who consider themselves tongue tied, particularly on the phone (yes, phone phobics are my speciality). Of course, one could and would and possibly should agree with one of my sisters who once said to me, tartly: “There is no such thing as a short (telephone) conversation with you, is there?”. She was cross with me at the time, and also right. There isn’t such a thing as a short telephone conversation with me. Not even when you are phoning from a callcentre. I have made friends with people in call centers, weeping at my far removed shoulder, thanking me for talking to them as if they were part of the human race, not just doing a shitty job.

Yes, chatterbox. Like any instrument you need to fine tune it (a bit like Lorna’s and Shoshanah’s much desired singing voices and/or bodies) and Maria’s hardening finger tips. I once did stop in my tracks when FOS (father of son) suggested it might be less time consuming (for him) if I stuck to written communication which, apparently though not evidenced by this post, tends to be concise and to the point. I interpreted it as a sort of a backhander of a compliment.

Anyway, and then I shut up, you will suffer, like with any art, for refining your powers as Ms Chatterbox. Not least because you tempt people into lying to you. One hour on, they’ll tell you someone is at the door, the dog has died or whatever a suitable excuse may be to get me off the blower.

Apropos of nothing: Today John told someone (not me) that he (the other) was a “tit”. I have been wondering: Obviously what is a tit to a suckling baby, and a singing bird to the enthusiast, is someone else’s arse. Or some such.




  1. Was distracted. Can you start over?

    Comment by Looney — March 4, 2017 @ 02:22 | Reply

    • Distracted? You? I think of you as most attentive. Which reminds me: Where were you recently?

      Can I “start over”? No, I can’t. Each one of my mutterings is an original, not to be reproduced as if I were a factory line.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 4, 2017 @ 10:51 | Reply

      • This being Silicon Valley, I have been pulling some overtime at work. For many, that means surfing the net while being paid overtime, but I don’t do any web surfing while working, and I don’t get the overtime pay. Only the chance to neglect other relationships.

        Comment by Looney — March 4, 2017 @ 14:17 | Reply

  2. I don’t have to fine tune you. You seem quite capable of doing it yourself. And shut up? Have a heart.

    Comment by rummuser — March 4, 2017 @ 12:40 | Reply

    • It’s one of the many things I like about you. Natural charm comes easy to you. “Have a heart”? My dear Ramana, my heart is so big, thus heavy and lightweight in equal measure, I sometimes can barely contain it, never mind carrying it without help.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 4, 2017 @ 15:59 | Reply

  3. I lost the plot here. Not your fault. I lose it regularly. As I age into sweet oblivion I find I am more like an investigative toddler. Short attention span. On to the next fun thing. All the time.

    I must slow down and develop telephonitis obviously.


    Comment by wisewebwoman — March 4, 2017 @ 12:49 | Reply

    • You losing the plot? I must fire my editor (that’s myself who frequently takes times off – leaving Ms Chatterbox to her own devices). Leads to crying at my own shoulder. Don’t, I tell myself. Stream of consciousness rules, editors need to be confined.

      Anyway, should you ever wish to go free fall, with no repercussions because my ears are open, my lips are sealed to third parties, let me know. Needless to say that I have a phone contract which allows me to phone round the world for more or less “free” – not that I wouldn’t spend any amount to keep in contact with those baked to my heart or stuck to greaseproof paper.



      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 4, 2017 @ 16:07 | Reply

  4. It is always the humble man who talk too much. The proud man watches himself too closely. Gilbert K Chesterson

    Comment by Curly Club — March 5, 2017 @ 06:56 | Reply

    • “Too much”? Let the fountain overflow. There is always a drought just round the corner. Then we’ll see where pride leaves us.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 5, 2017 @ 18:34 | Reply

  5. Well, I’m a good listener and have no skill whatever at chattering. I’m no good at talking about myself because (a) I’m just trotting out things I’m already sickeningly familiar with and (b) I don’t expect other people to be that interested in my personal witterings. I’m much more interested in other people, their background and what makes them tick. But I do realise that at some point they’ll expect some feedback in return and I try hard to provide it but it doesn’t come naturally. I could ask endless questions about them but that’s just another way of not talking about myself. And sooner or later they’ll start to regard my questions as intrusive and over-curious. All very tangled.

    Comment by nick — March 5, 2017 @ 12:03 | Reply

    • My dear Nick, “Chattering” does by no means mean talking about “yourself”. Not at all. I have had conversations (with good friends and family), indeed exhausting conversations, which ended with the other party sighing: “Now you know all about me, and I still don’t know anything about you.” Good, excellent.

      You see that is what I mean when I say I am good at drawing people out of themselves. Trust me, you are not beyond hope. One of my USPs that I am interested in everything, in everyone. So stop putting yourself and your “personal witterings” down. I have sieved many pebbles before I hit gold.

      Reflecting on the rest of your comment, and valuable it is as an insight into YOUR workings, you are right: communication is tangled. The art is – which is why I’d recommend anyone to learn all they can about sailors’ knots – to untangle. In a jiffy.

      Anyway, good on you to recognize how strengths and weaknesses don’t necessarily balance each other out.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 5, 2017 @ 18:31 | Reply

  6. Talking to me is as easy as breathing. It seems listening to me is not. I once worked with a lovely young woman named Caroline. Our desks were situated next to each other in a large, open-plan office, where we chattered away all day long. Or rather, I did. Oh, my God. One day, Caroline came into work and by the way, asked me if I ever take a rest from chattering. I wasn’t sure what she meant. Then she explained that since I had come to work in the office with her, she was going home exhausted every evening, after a long day listening to me chattering on and on and on. I was stunned. I mean, really? I tried to keep a lid on it after that. I had no idea I was so hard to be around.

    Comment by Maria Perry Mohan — March 5, 2017 @ 12:58 | Reply

  7. Ha! I was ‘chattering’ so much I forgot the punctuation. I meant to say: *Talking, to me, is as easy as breathing* not *talking to me is as easy as breathing* Judging by the feedback, it certainly is not. Oh, hardening finger tips indeed. A thick skin is certainly called for if one is me, methinks!

    Comment by Maria Perry Mohan — March 5, 2017 @ 13:01 | Reply

    • I am sure talking with you is a breeze, With not a (written) comma in sight.

      Well, yes, thick skin. If I remember correctly you sure did have to grow one with your Mil – and appear to have come out strong for it and, dare I say it, set an example to your children too. There are people who will test you, not necessarily because they are mean spirited – they just do. As theories go, here is one: Maybe, for all anyone can know, she secretly respects you for your fighting spirit.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 5, 2017 @ 18:35 | Reply

  8. I was born a chatterbox, it’s just how I’m hard-wired. But I do recall at various times in life, while trying to allegedly ‘self-improve’ I tried to speak less and become a good listener. I actually stood in awe of those who were indeed Good Listeners. Like my Dear Dad, who was always very stoic and Wise, said little but when he did speak it was so profound. He said I was more like my Mother, and that too had the Gift of Hospitality… that is what he felt those with the Gift of the Gab had because Mom could put anyone at ease as if they were an Old Friend even if she just talked to them for the first time. She too made Friends with those who called her even if it was the wrong number! So I had to Smile about your comment about befriending the Call Centre employees! Yes, I always go Long… now, at this advanced Season of Life I’m at Peace with just how I am and will suffer for my Art and consider it indeed a Gift. Blessings from the Arizona Desert… Dawn… The Bohemian

    Comment by Bohemian Valhalla — March 6, 2017 @ 17:08 | Reply

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