Bitch on the Blog

May 25, 2017

Spoilt for choice

There is a regular program on Radio Four (BBC, Sunday morning) called Desert Island Disks. Someone of relative public interest is invited to talk about their life and, intermittently, ten pieces of music of their choice are played.  They’ll then be asked to choose one of them to take with them – don’t say the BBC isn’t generous – before being shipped away and with little hope to return. You are given the Bible. You may choose one other book and one (in numbers 1) luxury item. No, not me. I am not a luxury item. I am cheap.

It’s amazing what people will choose as their luxury item. For heaven’s sake – who needs silk sheets in the middle of nowhere? Take a Swiss Army Pen Knife instead. What would I take? I don’t know. It’s not likely to be allowed within in the parameters of the programme but most likely a never ending supply of my favourite fruit/vegetable. Which is … What? Trying to come to a decision will take some time – a most welcome interval to delay the evil departure.

So, what about you? What’s your luxury item, food or otherwise, to take to the desert island? Please don’t say a harpoon. Life doesn’t work like that.

Tom Hanks greetings, and don’t forget to squirrel away some matches and don’t let them get wet during your voyage,



  1. Solar powered gadget that will give access to endless number of crossword puzzles.

    Comment by rummuser — May 26, 2017 @ 07:29 | Reply

    • Solar powered? That’s clever, Ramana. How do you know your desert island won’t be in North Finland where the sun shines only for, say, 78 days?

      You and my mother are clearly two peas sharing a pod (you’ll enjoy her company). I haven’t asked her but am pretty certain she’d give the same answer as you. One of the highlights of her week appears to be a fiendishly difficult crossword called, loosely translated, “thinking round the corner” – possibly the equivalent of “thinking outside the box”. God knows where she takes the patience from. And when she has finished it she glows in triumph. Which is very touching.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 26, 2017 @ 10:32 | Reply

  2. A survivable desert island, by definition, would have to have food and water. My “luxury” item would be a tool, such as a forever-sharp axe, that would make the castaway life more bearable.

    Comment by Mike — May 26, 2017 @ 12:43 | Reply

    • Who said anything about “survivable”? The BBC can be cruel. Maybe they’ll give you water. Because even in England water is not so much free but they won’t cut off your supply if you aren’t able to pay the bill. They#ll take you to court instead.

      Food? Na. Don’t take it as a given, Mike. Interesting though that you seem to think there will be trees. Why else would you need an axe?

      Until I posted the above and read both your and Ramana’s replies I had never given the matter much thought. However, I know realise that, by temperament, I do not expect anything other than, well, a desert, and that I am most definitely worst case scenario desert Island material. I can see it now:Tom Hank’s castaway had a ball, Ramana has his crosswords, you have your axe and I have nothing other than an earworm (probably Mozart) on an island devoid of vegetation, rock, flora, fauna or deer. Still there is always my imagination. And sunstroke. And, of course, (salt) water.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 26, 2017 @ 18:44 | Reply

    • As a veteran listener to Desert Island Discs I can assure you that an axe, or a Swiss Army knife would not be allowed…. sorry ’bout that.

      Comment by magpie11 — May 26, 2017 @ 19:54 | Reply

  3. I also thought of a smartphone and solar panels to recharge it. Except that there probably wouldn’t be any internet connection. But of course it all depends what’s on the desert island to start with. If there’s no food of any kind, you wouldn’t last very long anyway. Ditto if there were crocodiles or deadly snakes. If I were on her programme, I think Kirsty Young would find me a totally impossible subject.

    Comment by nick — May 26, 2017 @ 18:55 | Reply

    • No, Kirsty would charm you into submission. Let me see. What should (rather than would) you, Nick, take?

      A mattress. A good big fat solid mattress to give you a good night’s sleep to face next day’s challenge. Obviously, we are assuming that there is some shelter and/or no rain. A soggy mattress not being conducive to sleep.

      You are right, and my point entirely, that the variables of what constitutes a desert island vast. Reminds me of my then husband taking me on a surprise trip. Destination unknown. What do you take? A bikini or snow boots? As it were he told me to pack for all occasions. Which meant I packed everything bar the kitchen sink.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 26, 2017 @ 19:34 | Reply

  4. Not being of even relative public interest this surely does not apply to me but maybe a length of rough hairy rope to lay around me as I sleep at night to keep the serpents away….. I’m sure that that is in fact a myth by the way. Later, when I have given up all hope of rescue then I can put said rope to another use…… fialing that.. an endless supply of chilled Champagne and Czech lager…… the latter for highdays, Holidays and Sundays.

    Comment by magpie11 — May 26, 2017 @ 20:00 | Reply

    • “Czech Lager”? You and the Angel would make a match in heaven should the two of you find yourself in Asda before getting stranded on the same desert island. Keep the Champagne for when I arrive to rescue both of you.

      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 26, 2017 @ 20:11 | Reply

  5. Something with which a fire could be started. Gotta be able to cook – LOL – says the big guy.

    Comment by Chuck McConvey — May 29, 2017 @ 12:24 | Reply

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