Bitch on the Blog

March 31, 2017

Whimsy

One of the less palatable facts of life (apart from death, obviously) how, at times, to cope with the whole caboodle. I have found myself at points which didn’t bring me so much to breaking as having to take some deep breaths, thank my lucky stars that it’s too far and damp to walk to the next cliff, and then regroup. It pays to have shoulders. And brings¬†to mind camels and backs, and straws that break the camel’s back, and taking water from the well till the vessel cracks, you name it there will be an image for it.

Which reminds me, apropos of nothing, and one Looney may have the patience to answer: What’s it with camels, wells and donkeys? And going through the eye of a needle? That camels feature large is, geographically speaking, not a surprise. Still. Wait till a Llama spits at you, not out of spite – just because that is what Llamas do, and you look at life, as only a five year old can, through a heightened lens.

That’s how animosity starts. One moment you are meandering through your own overgrown backyard, the next someone offers you to borrow their lawn mower. Obviously the latter never happens but as an idea it works.

So, what do you do? Accept that your neighbour lends you their lawn mower not because you don’t have one but because they don’t want to be seen living to someone who is perfectly happy to walk among daisies? Or do you mow that meadow of yours to keep the peace?

Let me know. Not that I do have any land, overgrown or mowed, at the moment.

U

February 27, 2014

Back to the drawing board

Filed under: Health — bitchontheblog @ 18:52
Tags: , ,

The human body is perverse (as in ‘contrary to what is expected’).

A few years ago I went to my doctor. Perturbed that I had tears rolling down my cheeks even when as happy as the infamous ¬†Larry. Dry Eye Syndrome he said. This is what I love about life: Dry Eye Syndrome and your eyes overcompensate by flooding. You can’t beat nature, can you? How often have I wondered why God (the guy with all the time in the world) was in such a rush. Seven days? One of them rest? No wonder design faults crept in. Imagine he’d taken more time: Life would be perfect.

U

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