Bitch on the Blog

March 24, 2017

Hop Scotch

What of the theory that certain character traits and talents do tend to skip a generation? Do you think it bollocks or can you cement the above with examples of your own life’s experience?

U

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August 30, 2016

Delivery

Filed under: Amusement,Animals,Atmosphere,Beauty,Psychology — bitchontheblog @ 15:03
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For light relief, and please forgive me before you continue reading, I have just come across an article stating the obvious. Namely that dogs react to the way you speak to them, your intonation.

Who’d have thought it.

I once, and once only since I am not cruel, tested this on our then two cats, Fleury and Bouncer. Despite being mother and son they couldn’t have been more different in temperament. Which was great. Who wants sameness in everyone around you?

As an aside: Unfortunately (for Bouncer) he inherited his mother’s looks and his father’s brain. The other way round would have been better (for everyone) but, being placid and not destined to be an alley cat, he made the best of both his beauty and his deficiency.

My experiment? Mitigating circumstances – both my arms broken and in plaster cast, being more or less immobilized lying on the sofa, I needed diversion from watching Bette Davis films on the loop. So, there they both were and I told them truly horrendous not so sweet nothings in a soothing voice. They purred. Oh, did they purr. Not a clue what I was actually saying. It wasn’t nice. No one talks to ME like that. Then, some time later, I shouted at them that I loved them to bits. And – guess what – just on the strength of my voice they bolted through the cat flap. It broke. Served me right. Collateral damage.

Don’t report me to the RSPCA. I wanted to prove a point. And I did. As they say in the motherland: “Intonation makes the music”. Pity in many ways. I’d rather content set the tone. Still …

U

December 6, 2012

Magnets

Filed under: Fortune — bitchontheblog @ 17:28
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Sweethearts, no I haven’t gone on an extended honeymoon or saved one single donkey since I last wrote.

What I have done is fallen off my chair.  I read that “men are more attracted to women who look like them”. Really?  Stay clear off me. All of you. I don’t want to look like ANY of you. And yes, that includes you too. Even if I love you, and or like you (two emotions not always going hand in hand). Don’t dismiss those brackets: I was once told that someone loved me but didn’t like me. Forget loving me, like me instead. Or neither. Just enjoy my company. As I will yours.

I grew up in the belief that – when still in our fertile years – men and women are attracted to each other, oh so mysteriously, by their genetic compatibility. Which is why you shouldn’t have babies with a sibling because, as my mother once put it so delicately with regards to some unfortunate neighbours of ours: “Why do you think inbreeding gives us a village idiot?” My mother is good like that. She calls a spade a spade. And will hand you a fork if you want your soup running through the gaps.

Forgetting genes, the other theory is that we choose someone roughly as ATTRACTIVE as WE are. Hmm. Yes. I have to say: Even at age five my first boyfriend was handsome indeed. Very. Nothing has changed. It may be a fluke of my life, and a very lucky one at that: I have always found magical combinations – charm, looks, wit, intelligence, indeed eloquence, sharpness of mind, honesty, openess. And that’s just my friends. As they say: You attract into your life what you need. Good. So apart from a bit manure I attract the fair and beautiful of both soul and exterior. Even my cats – until they died – were faultless.

So when you go home tonight don’t look at the one you swore yourself to in the light of your own likeness; don’t go down the pub to meet your friends only to realize that you are looking at the mirror behind the bottles across the bar; don’t expect your children to look like you unless you are their mother. Fathers, by necessity, are gamblers. I could now say something else my mother said some years ago but it might result in a law suit. Not brought on by either her or me but one of my nephews. Because one of his cousins looks more like my nephew’s father than he does. Work that one out if you can.

Hugs and kisses,

U

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