Bitch on the Blog

April 6, 2017

Pensive

Filed under: grief,Human condition — bitchontheblog @ 14:54
Tags: , , ,

It’s a fine spring day. Doesn’t stop a grave thought.

The mystery (to me) that normally grief kicks in pretty quickly after the event. When I say “event” I don’t necessarily mean that which most people associate with “grief”, namely death. Not at all. Could be anything.

I am familiar with loss, indeed it has been said that my life is “one of loss” which, frankly, I find ludicrous. All of us “lose” stuff, people, ourselves, along the way. Occasionally.

Yes, so grief over a grievance normally kicks in pretty quickly after the event. However, and this is my puzzle and I’d be more than grateful if any of you have any ideas on this, there is a peculiar type of grief which overcomes you ages, a long long time, after the event. Evoked by, maybe, a sound, a song, a smell, a piece of music, the touch and feel of a piece of cloth, and, not least that most dastardly ambushing you, a thought.

Yes, so am melancholic this minute. Not in a bad way. In a slightly tearful way. If nothing else it’s a sign I am alive.

Hope the sun shines wherever you are – unless of course it’s night on your side of the globe in which case you have something to look forward to.

U

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October 1, 2016

Delirious

I do delight in simple joys. No need to climb the Kilimanjaro or do a Michelangelo for me to be happy. All it takes is to find my long lost small, nay tiny, kitchen knife. Its disappearance having been a mystery to me.

Yes, I know and you won’t remember, once upon a time I lamented my preferred potato peeler doing a runner. And other stuff.

The little knife was worse. I looked for it everywhere, asked people if they had “borrowed” it, emptied the garbage to sift through in case I’d accidentally thrown it out with the onion peel. No good. You can will certain things, but sometimes you have to acknowledge that loss means loss. What’s twenty years between you and a knife, you may ask. Well, you don’t throw loyal friends on the dung heap and forget about them in a jiffy, do you? As it were I felt awful that the knife might have thought me careless, might have felt discarded. What sort of an ending to a life is that?

Two hours ago I shifted an appliance, normally immobile and firmly anchored on the kitchen counter – and what do you know and what had slipped underneath it?  I did a double take and then clasped my old friend. That I didn’t cut myself with rapture is only due to my foresight and current lack of band aids in the house. Six months, Sweethearts, six months! Never ever give up on anything, anyone – particularly not your favourite knife.

And do search in unlikely places; behind the curtains if all fails.

U

July 25, 2013

Equation

Filed under: Communication — bitchontheblog @ 06:53
Tags: , , , ,

How does one reconcile a long standing perception you have of a person with facets of their personality emerging you cannot blind yourself to?

U

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