This morning whilst waiting, patiently, for a sign from hell or heaven a seagull shat on the crown of my head. It was only the second time in my life. Cooling. And why the crown? Why not soil your dress, shoulder or whatever else stands in the way of a seagull’s toileting? Don’t say seagulls aren’t considerate. It’s cheaper to wash your hair than take your jacket to the dry cleaners.
My consolation – in recovery not so much from humiliation as disgust – I remembered that folklore has it that a bird relieving itself on top of you amounts to good luck. And what do you know – it did.
Before all of you rush out to be pooed on by birds – forget it. Per chance can’t be forced.
U